Oaths and cursing

[Eofor]

I am currently wallowing in a hedonistic pit of guilty pleasure that is Conan the Barbarian. All the books, all the comics, all the movies, the soundtrack and even the terrible cartoon. I grew up reading Conan and it wasn't until this revisit that I realised just how formative an influence it was as a child.
But I digress. Conan exclaims a lot. His god is called Crom and he is forever yelling CROM! or CROMS TEETH! or CROM COUNT THE DEAD! There are other things he's quite fond of calling people such as louts, dogs, curs and such. He's also just as likely to call his comrades such things.

So while I'm very happy not to have an expletive ridden Middle Earth I have been wondering just what Farmer Maggot might have shouted upon discovering a young Frodo stealing his mushrooms? Why did no one in the fellowship have more to say about a Balrog showing up than 'Ai! ai!

Dwarves seem the type to trade sayings such as 'by my beard' or 'by my hammer and they are known for their famous battle cry Baruk Khazâd! Khazâd ai-mênu! I could see a Dwarven smith muttering 'Durin wept' or Durin's bones' at the actions of particularly clumsy apprentice.

Hobbits I can see with a wealth of classic old sayings and Sam quotes many of his Gaffers pearls, and lines such as 'fiddlesticks' and 'poppycock' also seem very Hobbit like but '"Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!' is about as harsh an expletive as you get from them.

Elves seem likely to exclaim the names of ancient heroes or stars or the moon or a thousand other weird things. It's possible they of all the free peoples may also invoke the Ainur in some fashion.

Men have me a bit stumped, I see names such as Helm or Eorl being shouted in battle and Eomer and Aragorn both shout the names of their swords but how would an every day Beorning, or woodsman have reacted to hitting his hand with a hammer? Any thoughts?

[OParnoShoshoi]

As I recall, the men that we do see seem fond of like "darkness take you, spawn of Mordor!" and that sort of thing. Though I may just be thinking of Gandalf talking smack to the Balrog.

[Barandir]

I’ve wondered the same thing in the past, but haven’t come up with any strong opinion about it yet. I’d be excited to see what anyone else thinks!

[ForgeCorvus]

For a linguist the Professor is mostly silent on profanity..... Probably due to his wanting to avoid the crude and the coarse.
I'm pretty sure theres no blasphemy either.

I've always used terms such as "Hell spawn" and "Misbegotten junk/lump" in LARPs where blaspheming against in-world gods will get you stabbed up by the worshippers of those gods and real swear words would get you a talking to by the Ref team (assuming its a family friendly event).

[Cimrandir]

Orcs and trolls spoke as they would, Without any love of words or things; And their language was actually more degraded and filthy than I have shown it. I do not suppose that any will wish for a closer rendering, though models are easy to find.

The Lord of the Rings, Appendix F, The Languages and Peoples of the Third Age: Of Other Races

Orcs can make sailors blush - confirmed.

Then through the throng came the sons of Feanor, flying from the North, and they bore new tidings of evil. Maedros spoke for them. ‘Blood and darkness!’ he cried. ‘Finwë the king is slain, and the Silmarils are gone!’

Then Fëanor fell upon his face and lay as one dead, until the full tale was told.

’My lord,’ said Maedros to Manwë, ‘it was the day of festival, but the king was heavy with grief at the departure of my father, a foreboding was on him. He would not go from the house. We were irked by the idleness and silence of the day, and we went riding towards the Green Hills. Our faces were northward, but suddenly we were aware that all was growing dim. The Light was failing. In dread we turned and rode back in haste, seeing great shadows rise up before us. But even as we drew near to Formenos the darkness came upon us; and in the midst was a blackness like a cloud that enveloped the house of Feanor.

‘We heard the sound of great blows struck. Out of the cloud we saw a sudden flame of fire. And then there was one piercing cry. But when we urged on our horses they reared and cast us to the ground, and they fled away wild. We lay upon our faces without strength; for suddenly the cloud came on, and for
a while we were blind. But it passed us by and moved away north at great speed. Melkor was there, we do not doubt. But not he alone! Some other power was with him, some huge evil: even as it passed it robbed us of all wit and will.

‘Darkness and blood! When we could move again we came to the house. There we found the king slain at the door. His head was crushed as with a great mace of iron. We found no others: all had fled, and he had stood alone, defiant. That is plain; for his sword lay beside him, twisted and untempered as if by lightning-stroke. All the house was broken and ravaged. Naught is left. The treasuries are empty. The chamber of iron is torn apart. The Silmarils are taken!’

At least one Elf curse is recorded as "Blood and Darkness! or the reverse "Darkness and Blood!"

They waited anxiously for him to go on. 'Well,' the farmer continued, approaching his point with slow relish, 'he came riding on a big black horse in at the gate, which happened to be open, and right up to my door. All black he was himself, too, and cloaked and hooded up, as if he did not want to be known. "Now what in the Shire can he want?" I thought to myself. We don't see many of the Big Folk over the border; and anyway I had never heard of any like this black fellow.

On the far stage, under the distant lamps, they could just make out a figure: it looked like a dark black bundle left behind. But as they looked it seemed to move and sway this way and that, as if searching the ground. It then crawled, or went crouching, back into the gloom beyond the lamps.

'What in the Shire is that?' exclaimed Merry.

'Something that is following us,' said Frodo. 'But don't ask any more now! Let's get away at once!'

"What in the Shire?" seems to be a common Hobbit phrase.

"You! You!" cried Thorin, turning upon him and grasping him with both hands. "You miserable hobbit! You undersized-burglar!" he shouted at a loss for words, and he shook poor Bilbo like a rabbit.
"By the beard of Durin! I wish I had Gandalf here! Curse him for his choice of you! May his beard wither! As for you I will throw you to the rocks!" he cried and lifted Bilbo in his arms.

You weren't too far off with the dwarves! "By the beard of Durin!' and "May his beard wither!"

The ruffians had clubs in their hands and horns by their belts, but they had no other weapons, as far as could be seen. As the travellers rode up they left the wall and walked into the road, blocking the way.
'Where d'you think you're going?' said one, the largest and most evil-looking of the crew. 'There's no road for you any further. And where are those precious Shirriffs?'
'Coming along nicely,' said Merry. 'A little footsore, perhaps. We promised to wait for them here.'
'Garn, what did I say?' said the ruffian to his mates. 'I told Sharkey it was no good trusting those little fools. Some of our chaps ought to have been sent.'
'And what difference would that have made, pray?' said Merry. 'We are not used to footpads in this country, but we know how to deal with them.'

Ted Sandyman spat over the wall: 'Garn!' he said. 'You can't touch me. I'm a friend o' the Boss's. But he'll touch you all right, if I have any more of your mouth.' 'Don't waste any more words on the fool, Sam!' said Frodo. 'I hope there are not many more hobbits that have become like this. It would be a worse trouble than all the damage the Men have done.'

The ruffins in the Scouring of the Shire prefer the old-fashioned "Garn!"

"Ass! Fool! Thrice worthy and beloved Barliman!" said I. "It's the best news I have had since Midsummer; it's worth a gold piece at the least. May your beer be laid under an enchantment of surpassing excellence for seven years!" said I.

Closest bit to modern profanity would be this "Ass!" from Gandalf though that's a stretch.

Related, here's a fun list of words you wouldn't imagined Tolkien translating! Though the caveat is they are very very old in his personal worldbuilding (Qenya and Gnomish!) and thus not at all appropriate for the later languages of Middle-earth. But he was at least thinking about them at some point.

https://www.silmarillionwritersguild.or ... _words.php

Now, all of the words listed below are from three different publications: Parma Eldalamberon 11 (the Gnomish Lexicon), Parma Eldalamberon 12 (the Qenya Lexicon), and Parma Eldalamberon 13 (Gnomish Lexicon Slips and Early Noldorin Fragments). For citation purposes, they are listed as 11, 12, and 13. A citation of 11-45 means PE11 page 45, in case you want to look it up and make sure I'm not fibbing. A G before the word indicates that it is Gnomish (which later became Sindarin); a Q indicates that the word is Qenya.

22) Drunken (G balfaug 13-138)

Loosely translated, this means 'thirsty in an evil way'. Clearly, somebody has gone overboard and consumed too much wine.

21) Vomit: to vomit (G hich- 13-163, Q qama- 12-76)

This may very well be what happens as a result of the previous word. 'Nausea' is also listed.

20) Feces (Q muk 12-63, G gorn 11-41)

We all knew they did it. We just thought Tolkien was too polite to make up a word for it. Apparently not.

19) Urine (Q mis 12-62, G piglin 11-64)

And, of course, it would be silly to have a word for poop but not for pee.

18) Louse (G gwef 11-45)

Do Elves get lice? I don't see why not. They have a word for 'louse' right here. One more thing to make the Siege of Angband more uncomfortable.

17) Shave: to shave (G thas- 11-72)

You may well ask why Elves needed a word for 'shave'. How's that for a plotbunny?

16) Temple (G alchar 13-109, Q alkar 12-30, Q korda 12-48)

There are actually quite a few religious ideas showing up in the early wordlists, including 'temple', 'shrine', 'sacred fire', 'idol', 'blessed', 'worshipful', and more. These date back to a time when the word Vala was translated as 'god', indicating that, at one time, Tolkien did envision the Elves as having a pagan-style religion.

15) Government (G gomaithri 11-41)

I was hoping to come across a word for 'politician' or 'bureaucrat', but alas I had no luck. This was the best I could find.

14) Lawyer (G fedhirweg 11-34)

This almost made up for the lack of 'politician'. The Qenya Lexicon also has kos(t-): 'legal action' (12-48).

13) Ignorant: to be ignorant (G gwista- 11-46)

Not all Elves are impressive and wise, and they have a specific verb to illustrate this fact.

12) Poverty (Q oise or oiste 12-71)

Nor is Aman a perfect paradise where everyone lives in carefree happiness. Related words from the same root include 'poor' and 'lack'.

11) Bitch (G huil 11-49, Q suni 12-82)

Yes, it's literally a female dog, but in the event that anyone needs a canonical insult, here's proof that the word exists in both major languages.

10) Slave (G guinir 11-43, G drog Q norka 11-31 & 13-142, Q vartyo 12-102)

There are a few different words for 'slave', and they have slightly different meanings. Drog means 'thrall' or 'someone taken into bondage'. Guinir, on the other hand, is related to the words for 'property' and 'chattel' and doesn't have the explicit relationship to having been taken into slavery and forced to do base work that drog does. The Qenya word norka is equivalent to drog, while vartyo means both 'slave' and 'servant'.

(My personal interpretation of this is that one would use drog or norka in reference to Elves captured by Morgoth and forced into slavery, while guinir and vartyo are reserved for socially acceptable household slaves and servants.)

9) Ravish (G maitha- 13-149, Q amapta- 12-34)

The fact that there is a specific word for this in both languages, rather than simply a descriptive phrase, suggests that it happens more often than just the one known example of Morgoth and Arien.

8 ) Buttocks (G hacha Q hakka 11-47)

This is also glossed as 'the hams', which is somewhat more amusing. It appears to be related to the verb 'to sit down'.

7) Breast / Teat (G tith Q titte 13-154, Q tyetse 12-50)

Tith and titte are not expanded, but tyetse comes from the same root as the verb 'to give suck' and the word for 'tiny baby'.

6) Cunnus (G huch 13-147 & 163)

This appears as part of the expansion of hoith (see #3 below) and then again on its own. The second listing has the word pukku written beside it, which, though unexplained, looks like the Qenya equivalent.

5) Penis (G gwî, gwib 13-162, Q puntl 12-75)

Both gwî and gwib are translated as the Old English teors. Gwî is also listed as membrum virile, and puntl is listed as vir. All of those are just fancy ways of saying penis without actually using the word penis. The difference between gwî and gwib is that gwî is the archaic or poetic word, while gwib is presumably what one would use in everyday life.

That's right. They have a poetic word for it. Interpret that as you will.

Fun side note: the name Mandos is translated in the Gnomish Lexicon as Bandoth Gwî. The Gwî there means something entirely different (it's the Gnomish equivalent to Qenya Vê), but still. What an unfortunate homonym.

4) Semen (G gwaith 11-44, Q milt 12-61)

I guess if you have words for 'penis' and 'impregnate' (G gwectha-), you kind of need this one, too. The Qenya word is related to 'seed', while the Gnomish word is listed among words for 'male', 'manhood', 'masculinity', etc..

3) Coitus (G hoith 13-147 & 163, Q pukta 12-75, 13-147)

Yes. This word exists.

For some reason, all of the 'personal' words can be found in PE13. Hoith is listed outright, while pukta in PE12 is listed as 'a gloss that can no longer be read'. However, it appears under the root PU(HU) (generate), which also provides putse (baby) and puntl (see #5 above). An expanded description of the word hoith in PE13 confirms pukta as the Qenya equivalent.

The verbs are G hoitha- and Q pukta-, with an additional verb being G hug-. While hoitha- is translated as 'to have intercourse with; to marry', hug- means 'to copulate'.

The second listing of hoith in PE13 gives the meaning as 'coitus (one act)' and provides an alternate Qenya spelling of puhta (which is more in line with later Quenya spelling conventions). Beneath this is huis: coire (trans.), futuere, and the Q form pukse. So that gives us a third Gnomish verb: huis-.

2) Consort (G hauthwaid 11-48)

You can translate this as 'bed buddy': literally, it's composed of the elements hauth 'to lay' and gwaid 'companion'. Its second meaning is 'wife or husband', probably indicating that the person one lies with ought to be one's spouse.

And that brings us to the number one word you never thought Tolkien would provide. What do you think you would be least likely to see on an Elvish wordlist? How about this:

1) Hermaphrodite (G gwegwin 11-44)

Composed of the elements gweg plus gwin, this is directly translated as 'man-woman'. I wonder if he ever planned on using this word in a specific tale, or just created it for fun. Too bad we'll never know.

[Manveruon]

Well this whole thread is hilarious and delightful! (Especially for someone like me, who admittedly peppers modern profanity - and occasionally archaic profanity - into his everyday language like commas!)
It’s funny - I was playing a Star Wars Roleplaying Game campaign over the last couple of years with people, and I found the same subject a little daunting there as well. My character was a bit rough around the edges, and I kept wanting to swear and so forth, but I discovered a severe dearth of profanity that wasn’t just something from our own world. We have a few specific curses and epithets to go on in the Star Wars universe (“poodoo,” “dank farrik,” and a couple others), but not a ton - and I suspect that in some ways the reasons for this overlap with the reasons we lack such things in Tolkien’s writings as well. Essentially, I think it has a lot to do with the audience for which each is intended - Star Wars being, at most, usually a PG-13 rated universe, suitable largely for children and families, with a lot of more vulgar elements left out, and Tolkien’s legendarium being published during the mid 20th century to a widespread audience who may have found such things distasteful. I think it can also be said with confidence that Tolkien himself seemed to eschew a lot of subjects which he found base or vulgar - in favor of a very high-poetic atmosphere that lacked the a lot of the gorey details of real life (unlike many of his successors - GRRM and the like).
In many ways, I love this aspect of Tolkien’s world, but I admit that they can become frustrating when you start to think to hard about things like reproduction, or daily disagreements, or just the whole sort of… human element of the world (and the fact that a lot of us are, simply, kind of a mess). I suspect that, if we are to interpret Middle-earth as a “real” time and place, we have to take a lot of these omissions with a fairly large grain of salt - in other words, treat them as subjects that, while they certainly existed in that world, were simply not recorded with any great frequency (as indeed the Professor himself seems to suggest above when talking about the speech or orcs and trolls).